My Supercar

Getting this bloody anti-gravity car thing I invented to keep still and air-park properly is a bloody nightmare.  It sort of drifts a bit whilst I'm away.  Plus kids come along and push it into the bushes, damn them.  But, hey I'm getting there, and working on an anchor.  As for its top speed of 200 kilometres per hour, I'm working on that too.  It's a tough life being an inventor, but I think I'm going to be famous with this technology.  

Guess who owns the Ross Revenge

Radio enthusiasts or 'anoraks' won't like my revelation much, but during the course of this article I will be stating quite categorically who owns the MV Ross Revenge.  I am of course, putting my life in danger by publishing this.

Anoraks spend a lot of their time confused and find things (such as reality) hard to understand.  This makes them frustrated and angry.  As 'fans' of the hype surrounding offshore radio, they look at everything with rose-coloured glasses on.  What they see is a dummy projected image which is far from reality.  Show them reality and they try to bite you because they can't cope with having to believe it!  That's when they lash out at those that are doing the equivalent of telling them that Father Christmas doesn't exist, and which is why my concluding paragraph to this article is written purely to upset them.  The background to the history of the ownership of the Ross Revenge is completely true and beyond disputing.  

The Ross Revenge is the large ship that was used in the 1980s in order to broadcast Radio Caroline and other stations from the middle of the North Sea.  This was just about in the dying days of people being interested in the kind of radio that offshore stations could provide.  In those days a lot of people wanted to hear near non-stop pop music.  Non-stop pop music was not allowed on the licensed radio stations on land owing to a prohibitive practice of the Musicians Union which allocated radio stations a limited amount of 'needle-time', or time when records could be played, forcing radio stations to have to program a lot of other rubbish to cover for the lack of permission to play near non-stop music.  During this period offshore radio still had a value.

Once the stranglehold was lifted in the late 1980s and licensed radio was able to do as it pleased, then offshore radio had no real purpose, and nobody but a few hundred 'anoraks' was listening to it any more.

In the end the Ross Revenge, once proudly beaming out its signal and throbbing away as a beacon of pop music, grew silent and eventually got ship-wrecked on the Goodwin Sands.

Now, back in 1980 a company was formed in order to eventually secure ownership of the Ross Revenge.  The company, Grothan Steemship Lines Inc was formed in Panama, and included on its board some highly, er, "distinguished" characters, and its single asset was of course the Ross Revenge.  At the time, it was difficult to access company information and international relationships were not as relaxed as they are now, so the Governments of Europe were unable to determine much about the company beyond the fact that it owned the Ross Revenge and operated Radio Caroline.  The trail stopped dead, so the actual ownership of the company was a mystery to the outside world.  And that was the idea.  The alternative would be that Radio Caroline's operators could be compromised if they were, for example, actually living and running everything from the UK.

To confuse issues, a few years later in 1982, a Netherlands based company Grotham Steamship Lines was formed. It had and has never had any involvement in the ownership of the Ross Revenge, despite appearing to claim it does.  I would speculate that this was somebody attempting to claim the Ross Revenge as an asset in exchange for a mortgage or investment, but I'm not sure of the details.

It was on behalf of Grothan Steemship Lines Inc of Panama, the owners of the ship and Radio Caroline, that two of the crew of the Ross Revenge signed paperwork entering into a contract with the Dover Harbour Board for them to 'salvage' the ship as agents for Grothan Steemships, when the ship was stuck on the Goodwin Sands.  Dover Harbour Board bravely did this and presented their bill.

It was at this point that Grothan Steemships went completely silent.  One might speculate they didn't want to release funds for whatever reason, including the lack of them.  It's also possible they knew that they could avoid payment because there were 'anoraks' quite happy to pay on their behalf.  Indeed, the 'Ross Revenge Support Group', a working name for a group of enthusiasts, did pay the bills instead of Grothan Steemships.   Now, this is a bit like me holding back on paying my electricity bill, and you, dear reader, coming along and paying it for me.

No matter how many times you turn up and pay bills relating to my house so I don't have to, it remains my house, and your generosity doesn't buy you any rights over my property.  The same is true regarding the Ross Revenge.  It remains owned by Grothan Steemships, even though random gentlemen keep turning up and painting and decorating and fixing the bits that need to be fixed.  I only wish I had people doing that with my house.  People paying my bills and repairing my house so I don't have to would be terrific.

And for Grothan Steemships it is also terrific that a swarm of buzzing anoraks regularly board Grothan's property and look after it for them.

However, the Ross Revenge remains owned by Grothan Steemship Lines of Panama.  The only way the issue could be forced is if Grothan Steemships itself ran up bills that it didn't pay.   Then the ship could be seized and disposed of as the seizer saw fit.  As it is, most of the bills being run up regarding the Ross Revenge are not being run up with the agreement of the company.  Those occupying the ship are the ones running up the bills for services not authorised by the owners, and so therefore the owners are not directly liable.  Stalemate.

This remains the status all these decades later.  The ship is worked on and bills are paid by people who don't own it.  It is owned by people not paying any bills or working on it.

There comes a time when maybe some formalised agreement should be reached between owner and occupants. Maybe that time is now. The 'Ross Revenge Support Group' needs to speak to the owner. The problem is they don't know who actually owns the company and therefore owns the Ross Revenge and the offshore operation as Radio Caroline.

Now then.  A decade or so ago I met up with the owner.  He challenged me to a game of snooker.  High stakes snooker.  He goaded me into putting my collection of classic cars on the table.  I goaded him to putting Grothan Steemships on the table.  We played a hard long game.  I won.  I am now the owner of Grothan Steemship Lines of Panama, and so the Ross Revenge is mine. Unbelievable, eh?

The silly god-bothering dictator

Who is this god-bothering silly man John Sentamu?  Why does he feel the need to control other people having sex?  Yes, I know that he makes his very profitable living by working for one of the churches spouting the dying religion called Christianity, but his homophobia is surely something he should keep to himself.

(Hilarious painting of man in fancy dress)
He appears to feel he has the right to pick just some of the words and phrases from his religion's guide book (Why do all the Middle-Eastern originating religions have these silly guide books and why are they never updated?) called the Bible, and ignore the rest.  By selecting to ignore other parts that don't suit his dictatorial purpose (like, for example, all the bits about the acceptable face of slavery and killing people who work on a Sunday, etc.), and only picking out those that for some reason enhance bigotry, cruelty and prejudice, he is able to hide his homophobia as being part of his "god's will".

Sentamu cries that Prime Minister Cameron is a 'dictator' by allowing gay couples to marry.  And there was me thinking that a dictator made rules that people had no option but to follow.

Cameron isn't forcing loving gay couples to marry, yet Sentamu wants them to be treated differently to straight couples, to sit at the back of the bus as it were in an apartheid system which favours straights over gays, to force them to stop doing what they want to do.  

Wanting this unchallenged level of control over other human beings makes Sentamu the evil dictator; nothing more nothing less.

The beauty of this modern and far more enlightened country is that gay people just don't need to worry about whatever it might be that prejudiced dress-wearing god-botherers with very silly hats have to say about them.  Well, apart from when they block them from getting married, of course.

Sentamu is full of prejudices, and not backward with coming forward about other things like his upset about the lack of black people following his branch of god-bothering.  Well, maybe it's because they've all grown up, gotten a lot more sensible and don't need to be lectured by such a silly man any more!

No gay sex for me yet

My lack of having had sex with a man tells me that it is probably not to be. Never say never, of course, but if it was going to happen I guess it would have happened by now.  Instead, I seem to have had sex with women.  This must lead to me concluding that I'm heterosexual.  Fair enough.  It wouldn't bother me if I was bisexual or homosexual, as long as I was me.

(Love is wearing matching underpants)
Likewise, it doesn't bother me what your orientation might be.  As long as you are happy, have given informed consent, and those you are having sex with are happy and have given informed consent, what's it got to do with me? Why should I take any interest whatsoever? I shouldn't.

I mean, you might like to play Connect 4 or have a rabid interest in collecting porcelain fish.  Why would I want to make rules about you and control your Connect 4-ing or tut-tut about your porcelain fish?  I wouldn't.  Even if you pinned me against the wall at a party and decided to tell the tale of every porcelain fish you've collected, then, yes I might want you to shut the fuck up, or I might even want to feed you your damn porcelain fish to shut you up, but outside of that, what's it got to do with me?

Yet, there are people, mainly those controlled by very obscure and irrelevant religions, who seem to think that what you do sexually is somehow something to do with them.  Even though they don't know you, they believe that you must only have 'straight' sex with somebody of the opposite sex to whom you are married.

Why?

What's it got to do with them?

They get uncomfortable with any kind of sex, but they seem to get the most uncomfortable with homosexuality. They act as if it somehow threatens them directly.

Even though they don't know you and have never met you, they judge you and want to control you, and, if it was up to them, they would forbid you from having sex, even if that sex was within a long term loving relationship.

Why?

What's it got to do with them?

It is a mystery to me that one of the major things that religion and religious people try to control is sex.  It's almost like some kind of fetish or part of the BDSM scene, because if it isn't it makes no logical sense.  It's even a little bit insane.

I mean, if somebody kept obsessing about a neighbour's collection of porcelain fish, really going on and on and tut-tutting and saying it was immoral, you'd want to get them Sectioned and locked up, wouldn't you?

So, isn't it about time we rounded up all those who are obsessed in this way with other people's sexual activity, and kept them locked away from the public? 

A Christian/Muslim dies...

I am an equal opportunities atheist, and I like to laugh and point at both Christians and Muslims at the same time.

Sooo... 

 If you are Christian, read only the sentences highlighted in pink. 

 If you are a Muslim, read only the sentences highlighted in blue.  

A Christian dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates.

A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates.

He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the saviour, Jesus Christ.

He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.

"Are you Jesus?" he asks.

"Are you Mohammed?" he asks.

"No, my son. I am Peter. Jesus is higher up." And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

"No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Jesus should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.

He asks again, "Are you Jesus?"

He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"

"No, I am Moses. Jesus is higher still."

"No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still."

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.

Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Jesus?"

Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"

"No, I am Mohammed... You will find Jesus higher up."

"No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up."

Jesus higher than Mohammed!

Mohammed higher than Jesus!

The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher.

Once again he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:

"Are you Jesus?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.

"Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.

"No my son.....I am God.. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?"

"Yes, please, my Lord."

God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:

"Hey Jesus, two coffees !!!!"

"Hey Mohammed, two coffees !!!!"

Creative multi-tasking for men?

Apart from being a living breathing enigma, I am an incredibly talented person.  I am a 'creative'.

Being a 'creative' means I am burdened with the task of being an ideas man, a futurologist, a person with his finger on the pulse of the, er, future, a trend predictor, a sooth-sayer, a prophet, and, to be modest, all but a decision making god to those who look to me for leadership and inspiration.

My head is constantly filled with scenarios.  I am always watching, learning and applying my superior knowledge to any situation, computing the outcome, working out what would be best.  As a director of huge box office hit movies I wouldn't need to storyboard. It would be in my head.  I can visualise an entire edit sequence and know exactly how scenes need to be shot.

However, in balance, for all of this greatness, I have to humble myself and admit that I do have failings.

I can't seem to bloody multi-task when dealing with things of a very similar nature.

As an example, supposing I had to write something absolutely brilliant for this very blog and at the same time write something absolutely brilliant for work.  For some reason, I can't seem to do both.  My head will fixate about one and not the other.

Case in point.  I'm writing a large collection of completely fabricated lies associated with a business proposal.  I'm thinking about them. Dreaming about them.  Working on them whilst I'm asleep.  Editing them, visualising them, and all consumed by them.  Then I realise I really need to write something for here, but my brain won't let me.

I study my list of bullet points I have had for ages, ready to pick one and flesh out a big long bla-de-bla for your entertainment, annoyance or excitement.  Nothing happens.

If I try to write, all I can write is bits relating to the work thing.

Have I always been like this?  Is it some mental decay I was unaware until just now is happening to me?  Is it possible the women can multi-task whilst men can't?

I.

Well, I mean, I.

Erm, I.

Look, I don't know how to finish this, but I've got some damn fine ideas for that work thing, must rush... 

The Virgin gets Gored with the Pole

I like the concept of Richard Branson, the Virgin man.  Of the multi-Billionaires that have stashed away far more personal wealth than entire countries have to spend on food, I can forgive Branson because he's odd.  Odd and cool.  If he has a bizarre agenda, it's well hidden.  He just seems fair minded and normal.  Eccentric and normal. All in all, a man with a collection of reasons why he's the acceptable face of entrepreneurialism.  Most importantly, he rarely wears a tie.  No tie means no lie, so you can trust a person without a tie.

So, it was a bit concerning to discover that he seems to have fallen for the Al Gore lie about Global Warming, and is joining a multi-Billionaires' jolly to Antarctica this week.

Others along for the ride include various prominent 'climate scientists' who have crossed over from scientific reason and investigation into the human-hating political world, becoming strong proponents of the various schemes the New World Order-esque United Nations want to impose on countries in order to tax them to buggery to punish them for emitting the much needed plant food, carbon dioxide.

The publicity material for this event towards the South Pole explains how out of touch with reality these people are.  It discusses how they are making their expedition 'this winter'.  Well, of course, it's 'this winter' in the northern hemisphere, where we find the United States of America, and their pesky outpost, Europe, but in the southern hemisphere it's 'this summer'.

Indeed, the multi-Billionaires and their 'climate scientist' pals will no doubt be witnessing the natural late summer melts when they reach Antarctica.  What's the betting this will provide plenty of alarmist footage for how terrible global warming is, and of course, how we are all to blame and must give them loads of money for our sins.

Will they mention how rapidly the Antarctic winter sea ice is increasing year on year and how it is at a 30 year high?  Of course not!  They only need to tell us 'facts' that support their human-hatred and demand we flash the cash.

You'd think these multi-Billionaires could reduce their personal wealth by even 50% and not even notice it, and maybe, just maybe, put their own money into saving the world instead of demanding ordinary people pay.